The thoughts of an amateur poet…me!!

Hello everybody!

Its been awhile since I blogged. Hehe. Cant really find any reason to anyway. Lol!! Anyway, there’s something that’s bothering me all the time now. As I am going through my second year of college aka Hell on earth…I m more and more certain that I am actually regretting taking mass communication or media studies in particular.

I just lost that enthusiasm to just continue studying this course. *Sigh* I couldnt tell my parents of course. I would be slaughtered alive by them. So wat should I take then? Well, let’s see…my dreams varied a lot. At first, I wanted to be like my uncle; a computer programmer. So i dived into d world of coms and literally emerged barely alive…the complexity of programming literally turn me off. Then enter writing. I could write. This i know. But not very well and I am never satisfied with my writings no matter how much praise I garnered from friends and family.

Then I thought of photography. Hells, I dont even know a damn thing bout photography but I was willing to learn. Unfortunately, parents doesnt really agree as the career options are quite limited here. So finally, when I was interested in guitar, together with my good friend, we attended our first guitar class despite my parents discreetly disapproved it. It was like magic. The minute I was plunged into the world of guitar music, all the fiery and romantic spanish pieces that our good teacher played for us, i was convinced that this was what I want to do. Playing, teaching and learning music.

And so, I practiced. Though at first my will wavers, but I manage to regain back my confidence and also my enthusiasm. I practiced long and hard until one time 3 of my strings snaps in quick succession within 3 weeks. Haha. I dont mean to brag but I am now a grade 5 student learning grade 8 or even diploma pieces. So wat’s keeping me from pursuing music? I mean I am happy with it, i enjoy it more than i enjoy writing. So why am I whining about it?

Very simple. The answer is not exactly my parents if that’s what u r thinking. No, its financial problems PLUS my parents. The moment I took up guitar, they have never ever express any kind of interest in it. I know they mean well when they want me to concentrate more on my studies than my guitar. But i feel so depressed. To not have the person u love expressing any interest whatsoever in your talents or even hard work kinda brings u down especially if they r ur parents. They do not support me at all. Period.

Plus, I wish I was quite well off in terms of money like my teacher who just totally abandon school life after form 5 to pursue a career in music in france.  *Sigh* I guess I cant get wat I want can I? Hahaha. Well, let’s see…I love music and I love somebody currently. I am forced to consider other career option other than music and the girl? Well, I dont even know whether I am actually in her list of memorable people in her life. I dont seem to be memorable to any girls…

I am only thankful that I have very good friends to pull me through this. Good friends and the dream of becoming an excellent classical guitarist no matter what my parents say. TO the world of music…wait for me…I am coming by hook or by crook. To the girl I love…if u r not to be the one…then so be it. So be it…

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 7th, 2007 at 9:18 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.